Lessons Learned …


When my bestie and I decided to started this blog I made a conscious decision to avoid bashing my exes for two reasons: 1. I don’t want to come off as a “sour apple bitter bitch… “(That’s a Gucci Mane reference burr…lol) and 2. Every relationship is an opportunity to learn something new about yourself or the next relationship. I got the idea for this post from Suzie 81’s Blog post “We can learn to Love again – Why No Relationship is a Waste of Time”. After reading her post it got me reflecting on my past relationships and here are some of the lessons I’ve learned.

Note:  This is in no particular order

Boyfriend Number 1: This was my longest relationship and maybe it shouldn’t have. . I feel like Wale summed it up best in his song Breakup “Life is a movie we both say cut but most times darling the sequel sucks.” Since this relationship was long here are just a few of the many lessons I’ve learned. Here goes:  Always trust your gut instinct. Do not confuse loyalty with stupidity. Last but not less patience! Patience is very important in a relationship. It’s says it in the Bible 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 “Love is patient…” Image

Boyfriend Number 2: I will call this one Lover Homie Friend. He was my first love and we lost our virginity together, so he’ll always hold a special place in my heart. However that doesn’t mean I haven’t had my share of drama and pain with this man. The lessons I’ve learned from this relationship: Forgiveness, Acceptance, and everything comes full circle; in that order. With what I’ve learned we are able to have a friendship today.

 Boyfriend Number 3: This one should have never happen. To call this relationship crazy would be a major understatement. We should have never date for so many reasons. The quote I would use to best sum up this relationship is “What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger” and this relationship did just that. What I’ve learned is that honesty is key; be honest with yourself and your partner always. Know when to leave or like I always say “Know when to bow out gracefully”. Everything comes with a price and know your worth. Never allow someone to disrespect you. Most importantly your relationship should never compromise your relationships with your family and friends.

Boyfriend Number 4 and 5: I’m going to combine these two together because they were both rebounds and I learned similar lessons. You can’t rush the pain of a breakup … sometimes you just gotta let it burn. (Usher reference…Yeah!) Also it doesn’t matter how good a guy looks on paper you can’t force it.

…remember don’t cry because it’s over smile cause it happen



  1. “Man it’s so hard not to act wreckless” that’s currently how I feel about “men” right now!! I’m kinda @ the point where I don’t want a nigga to teach me shit!!! Like deadass, can I not have another lesson learned..DAMN!!! I can honestly see why women become bitter and have that “niggas ain’t shit” attitude…ONE boy will fuck your whole mind frame up!!! Now I can say it was a MAJOR lesson learned but damn did I have to learn it that way lol…
    But Drew I’m with you “what doesn’t kill me, will make me stronger” but the one thing I’m actually going to do that I’VE NEVER done before is allow myself to hurt. I’m going cry, scream, throw shit, I’m going to allow myself to be mad and go through my pain… I’m not going to walk around with my head held high smiling and pretending that everything is ok but right now it’s not….

    I’m going to do exactly what I want & I’m not going to be sorry or NONE it.Beat my heart to death talking about your sorry.I’m not going to call youI’m not going to be niceI’m going to raise my voiceI’m going to yellI’m going to screamI’m going to break thingsI’m going to race the engineAnd TELL ALL your SECRETS ABOUT YOU TO YOUR FACEAnd I’m NOT going to be Sorry for NONE of it.-Janet Jackson

  2. Okay I really do like your blog lol but I told you that already! I particularly like this post a lot, because reflecting on past relationships is something I was currently doing. I love that you look at all relationships no matter how good or bad as lessons, a lot of people these days don’t think about the “lessons” in things that we go through. I recently realized that I don’t allow myself to hurt enough if that makes sense lol. I found myself going from situation to situation, but not allowing myself enough time to just HURT & HEAL. I think that we as women or people in general don’t give ourselves time to go through the emotions, and just be in a state of hurt. I was acting as tho I was good after things hurt me n keep it moving until something happened n I got so angry n so upset, and the person barely did anything to me. It was then that I realized the person didn’t hurt me the situation just reminded me of something that I clearly hadn’t healed from in the past; you never really know when your over something into it resurfaces itself in a different light. Overall I learned that it’s okay to be hurt….it’s okay for relationships to end & they don’t always end cause somebody cheated on somebody etc sometimes that person’s part in your life is just over…it’s okay to let go..and lastly you should never apologize for loving in permanent ink everything you go through is a lesson and you don’t need to apologize for learning.

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