I have been struggling with this post since we started wine N hookah…I would like to consider myself a great communicator but when I have to discuss love it’s a problem for me. Not just love in the general sense, but MY love. The way I love, I always believed can only be shown….the people that I love the most I very rarely tell them so…some I don’t say it at all. I guess that what makes this so difficult to write about.
But in honor of upcoming Valentines Day I really wanted to do a post about what Love means to me. Not what society has told me, but what I feel when I close my eyes and really feel it.
Love is scary to me, it terrifies me. It makes me vulnerable in a way that I feel exposed.
The scariest thing about dating is you either end up married or breaking up
Maybe that’s what it is, not scared of loved but of being“unloved“. Of finally trusting and feeling secure and then having it torn away. And the scariest thing about where I’m at currently is it has happened before.
For the way loneliness is worse when you return to it after a reprieve—like the soul’s version of putting on a wet bathing suit, clammy and miserable
So who’s to say that it won’t happen again, the love and the lost. But then it would be my fault because you know of the “fool me once…” Blah blah…but I guess it’s different because the love never really left…it just became unused. It’s been sitting there the entire time waiting for the dust to be blown off of it…but I guess ill save THAT story for part 2 lol
A dream dirty and bruised is better than no dream at all