A Rant about Love, is it or isn’t it?

I have been struggling with this post since we started wine N hookah…I would like to consider myself a great communicator but when I have to discuss love it’s a problem for me. Not just love in the general sense, but MY love. The way I love, I always believed can only be shown….the people that I love the most I very rarely tell them so…some I don’t say it at all. I guess that what makes this so difficult to write about.

But in honor of upcoming Valentines Day I really wanted to do a post about what Love means to me. Not what society has told me, but what I feel when I close my eyes and really feel it.
Love is scary to me, it terrifies me. It makes me vulnerable in a way that I feel exposed.

For me being a control freak, being in love takes that control from me. I have honestly found myself trying to avoid dating because I don’t want to fall in love.

The scariest thing about dating is you either end up married or breaking up

Maybe that’s what it is, not scared of loved but of being“unloved“. Of finally trusting and feeling secure and then having it torn away. And the scariest thing about where I’m at currently is it has happened before.

For the way loneliness is worse when you return to it after a reprieve—like the soul’s version of putting on a wet bathing suit, clammy and miserable

So who’s to say that it won’t happen again, the love and the lost. But then it would be my fault because you know of the “fool me once…” Blah blah…but I guess it’s different because the love never really left…it just became unused. It’s been sitting there the entire time waiting for the dust to be blown off of it…but I guess ill save THAT story for part 2 lol

A dream dirty and bruised is better than no dream at all



1 Comment

  1. Love is very scary, but thats the interesting part about falling in love…you never know how it’s going to turn out…
    We often don’t show love to the ppl who love the most, b/c they are also the ppl who hurt us the most…
    I don’t look @ love as everything has to be perfect…. You can love someone so bad that it hurts, but love should never hurt you…
    I dislike when ppl say…”real love doesn’t hurt” when actually real love does hurt…
    Love is a weird topic to discuss b/c everyone thinks different and everyone express their feelings in a different way..
    As females we tend to love harder and we love with our “heart”…well Jelz don’t everyone love with their heart??? Ha!!
    We often also think that showing love is a sign of weakness when actually it’s a sign strength…
    It takes a strong person to love someone it show’s that you’re not selfish…
    Love is kind… As long as you’re loving the right person 🙂

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