Side Chick Turned Girlfriend (The Execption)

Before I begin this young woman’s story I must first say that hers is the exception not the rule. What I mean by that is usually when you are a side chick you DO NOT become the main/girlfriend/wife…that’s the rule. However, every now and then an exception is made…you should make your decisions based on the rule not the exception. (See movie “He’s just not that into you” for further clarification)

Now although she doesn’t care about her identity being revealed in this post, I do consider her a friend of mine so I will change her name while I tell her story. I figured side chicks get so much shade and hate it’ll be good to get their side of the story….so it begins

*Ashley* met him while in college and he had a GF at the time. He sent her a message via Facebook expressing his interest in her. She didn’t respond to his advances for months before decided to actually become involved with him.
She knew he had a girlfriend and was not concerned. Although he did have a girlfriend, it was no secret that him and Ashley were also involved. Ashley later found out that they were two other females he was having sex with in addition to her and his girlfriend. Once again she was not phased because she had her own stuff going on as well.
His girlfriend however had had enough and decided to leave him. But she didn’t leave to find a better man, she left because she wanted to be chased. And when that didn’t happen she ended up chasing him. To try to win him back she desperately suggested a 3some with him and Ashley. All parties agreed and it went down!
Apparently home girl did not know her competition well enough and the 3some did not win her her man back.
Speed things up about a year and now Ashley and him are officially dating and now ex GF decides to become friends with Ashley in another attempt to win her man back which was also unsuccessful.
They have now been together for 3 years. Ashley says that the distance in their relationship makes him insecure (he’s in a different state than she is) but I think he is worried about his karma…nonetheless she is getting fed up with his complaining and has begun talking up her ex boyfriend again. When I asked her how would she feel if he did the same, she replied that she would be indifferent about and they aren’t married….what do you think? Think they are going to make it?? Can a good side chick make a good girlfriend?



  1. Hmm.. Can a good side chick make a good girlfriend?
    I believe you said that he wrote her on FB meaning he saw something within her that he likes. Maybe it’s was her body, smile, or simply the good vibes she has but the important thing is that He made the first move. Proverbs 18:22.
    Now considering the 3some was a bit much (no judgement) I think her sex would’ve captured him with or without the GF being involved. Now Ashley, if you’re 3 years in and distance has become a problem my question would be; How much do you love this man? Distance should make your love stronger which I believe will bring about creative ways for you to help your man with his insecurities. Can you give him that peace of mind? You may not be married but can you see marriage in your future? I think a “side chick” good or bad can make a good girlfriend depending on the foundation of their relationship. If it was built on sex and sex seems to be the glue holding your relationship together then maybe you both need to step back and evaluate the relationship. However, if there’s more stability, communication, and faith in each other’s love then hold on and build from it because you may be the motivation he needs.
    It’s true that karma (that b) can drive a person insane so Mr. Insecure, get it together. Your lady needs peace of mind as well. I think they can make it if they BOTH want to, but that’s just my opinion.

  2. Hmm, I just wonder a few things about the whole scenario

    Would he have broke up with the first gf if she never decided to play that mind game? (wanting to be chased). I don’t think he really had intentions too, i mean why would he. All parties involved seem to know this dude was getting around. Didn’t seem like Ashley was going to stress him out about being the Main girl (or only girl for that matter) knowing all that she knew, and the first gf was on some any means necessary kick to try & win him back (goin as far as to having a 3 some with the chick he cheatin with).

    I personally don’t think they will make it, UNLESS a lot of things are worked out. He states away, and she has just started to talk to her Ex again…just seems like they are headed in a different direction now

  3. Do I think they’re going to make it?
    — My first response is no. It’s just a messy situation. Also if she’s getting fed up, it seems like she’s mentally and, preparing herself emotionally, to move on to someone else.
    However, from what we’ve been told in the story, stranger things have happened in their relationship.

    Can a good side chick make a good girlfriend.
    — No, it’s just messy and a bit untrustworthy. If a relationship is built on trust, why would anyone want to be with a guy who had two girls or the opposite. Why should a guy trust a girl who was willing to be with him knowing he had already had a girlfriend (or the reverse for a girl).

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